Ghosting is worse than rejection in person because it does not allow closure. Ghosting can happen in friendships but is more common in romantic relationships. It hurts when someone you love ignores you abruptly.
Our brains are hardwired for seeking answers. Rejection is painful for us because we are hardwired to be attached. Rejection can lead to obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, which are detrimental to your mental health.
Understanding Ghosting
Ghosting can begin when you don’t respond to texts, calls or emails or if there is a long period of silence between responses. Here are eight reasons why people ghost instead.
This is an attempt to reduce conflict. Although leaving without saying goodbye may seem harsh, it could be the only thing they can do, especially if the person has done everything to avoid conflict. Not everyone has the ability to communicate or is aware that a conversation can be had in a challenging situation without escalating into aggressive conflict.
They might have issues with their self-esteem: People who are low on self-esteem can ghost in order to avoid judgement and shame. It is not your responsibility to communicate with them. If they end a relationship, you deserve an explanation. They don’t accept responsibility for their behavior because they are trying to avoid false accountability.
They ghost to satisfy their egos. Relationships for them are like a game. They can be callous when they are no longer involved, especially if they don’t know what you expect or require.
They could be struggling with their own mental issues: Depressive episodes can be overwhelming. It can be easier to withdraw and avoid than to continue.
You may be responsible for the ghosting. Take a look at your actions. You may have smothered and harassed a friend, even if they asked you to stop. Their silence shows that you ignored their boundaries.
How to Deal with a Ghosted Person
Ghosting is often a behavior that the ghost displays, and not you. Admitting you accidentally triggered this behavior and trying to improve is half the battle. To help you process the behavior and get past it, consider the following:
Accept that the relationship is over: Your partner has moved on. Acceptance is much more important than understanding.
Feel the emotions. It’s impossible to guess what the ghost is thinking. Feel sorrow and anger without feeling shame. Let yourself grieve freely. Continued wondering why will only prolong this process.
Stop blaming yourself: Being rejected hurts but you do not need to be in more misery. Do not blame yourself, or allow negative behavior to lower your self-esteem. This is true even if it was you who ghosted them. You should learn from your mistake and move forward.
Do not isolate yourself. Plan an activity with your friends. If you want to take a break from dating, socialize and engage in other activities that you enjoy. Don’t rush back into a dating relationship.
